Deciphering emotional regulation skills        


Emotional regulation - it may sound simple, but it is a whole type of art. It is a process of recognizing, understanding and impacting your inner emotions, both positive and negative ones, to put yourself in a balanced state. Emotional regulation skills require each person to be able to control and balance between emotional states appropriately before expressing them. 


What is emotional regulation? (Photo courtesy of UEF )

The importance of emotional regulation skills


Emotions have an incredible power, that is why learning to control them is not less important. In reality, it is not easy to master your own emotions, because they belong to your instincts and they play a crucial role in how we perceive life. When we can control our emotions, we can significantly benefit from it, most notably:  


  • Enhance problem solving skills: When you can control your emotions, you can maintain a calm state and are not influenced by negative feelings, helping you to focus and effectively solve problems. 
Control your emotions to solve problems better. (Photo courtesy: Internet)
  • Avoid conflicts: Emotional regulation also helps improve your relationships because you can know to grasp and react according to the emotions of not just yourself but also others. 
Forge healthy relationships by balancing and controlling your emotions. (Photo courtesy of Pace)
  • Helps you become stronger: When you can control your emotions, you will be stronger when facing and overcoming difficulties, failures or challenges in your life.
Emotional regulation helps you maintain your spirit against difficulties (Photo courtesy of Vinmec) 

Makes you look more professional in others’ perspectives: Fully expressing your emotions can greatly influence how people perceive you. Particularly in work, people who are always negatively influenced by emotions will find it difficult to make right decisions, leading to mistakes and unpredictable consequences. 

Emotional regulation gives you calmness and reliability in other people’s eyes (Photo courtesy of

Steps to effectively regulate your emotions


The first step to emotional regulation is perceiving your own emotions. Spend time listening to your own body, keep an eye on your emotional shifts, perceiving the emotions that are arising. This provides you with some time to calm down, look at the problem in a subjective way and make right decisions.


Next,  instead of trying to run away from your emotions or deny them, learn to accept their presence. Negative emotions are also a part of our life, and we need to learn to face and overcome them. Avoiding them only makes matters worse. 


After perceiving and accepting your emotions, find a way to regulate them according to the circumstance. It can be relaxing your body, taking a deep breath, seeking support from your relatives, friends or psychological experts, meditating or changing your perspective on a matter or situation.


Finally, instead of letting your emotions control your actions, use your power of reason to make decisions on how to act. When your emotions are at their peak, spend time cleaning them down and think thoroughly before taking action. 


Practice emotional regulation to balance yourself in all situations (Photo courtesy of LCV Coaching)

Because emotions are instinctive…


All the emotional states inside us, good or bad, are a normal and crucial part of our life. Emotional regulation isn’t synonymous to denying or suppressing them, using your power to fight against your natural emotions, but to learn to cooperate with them in a healthy and effective way. Therefore, control your emotions flexibly and sensibly so that you can always be in the best state.

               Henyu | Cameron Truong